Work's Been Interesting or ...Why do Temps Always Smell Bad?

I should start by saying that I have a relatively hum-drum job. I wouldn't call it monotonous, I handle a large variety of requests and I never really know what kind of requests I'll be getting each day so I'm not bored (plus customers always have some kind of crazy going on to liven things up) and some days I even like my job. Then this week happened. Monday morning I minding my own business, sifting though emails (oh god the emails) and drinking my coffee while lining up my cases on another monitor (my station has 3 monitors, yes I do need all three) when my boss stopped by and told me that one of the Temps would be sitting with me for the day so I could start teaching her some parts of my job. I didn't think The Temps were going to be assigned to my team, I thought they were going to be assigned to help with a new product roll out. But he's the boss and I'm there for 8 hours a day to do whatever he assigns so send her over!   O...M...G I'm not kidding when I say a 55 year old meth addict was at my desk 15 minutes later unkempt fake blonde hair and all. She reeked of cigarette smoke, hacked constantly, was twitchy, talked non-stop about stupid crap, told me she forgot her glasses and couldn't see anything (but was somehow taking lots of notes.) Asked nosey questions about my personal life, needed to use the restroom every few minutes, was having a hot flash. GOOD HOLY HOT MESS!!  I used to be a Temp and all I can say is things have changed. Or maybe I just worked for an agency that had better hiring standards? Whatever the change was it wasn't for the better. It was a hellish day and I got next to nothing done. I purposely held off on lunch so I would have 90 minutes away from her (leaving right as she was coming back.) While at lunch I talked to the co-worker that was saddled with the other Temp. That one smelled like a cross between cigarettes and cabbage apparently, also she doesn't drive, can't be flexible with her hours and wants to know when she can just start doing "real" work on her own, at her own station. Um, how about after you've had some training? Because that would be ideal for us.

I was hoping that today would be better, nope. There she was first thing, proudly with her glasses and ready to learn between coughing fits and hot flashes. I almost cried. I got almost nothing done for the second day in a row. But I've learned that if you cram 3 Listerine Strips into your mouth every few minutes it burns your nose so you don't smell the cigarette stench so much. 

I found out that the product roll out The Temps were hired for is nowhere near ready and they needed to find something for them to do. So they were pushed to my team? Really? Our individual and team goals are met (and have been consistently for over a year.) We don't need any help and honestly take time away from work to train these clowns is going to hurt us. But all the other teams are working on procedural changes or new systems so couldn't be bothered with them. This is where I have to pause. These are Temporary Employees. If you don't need them you call the agency and say "Hey turns out I can't use these folks right now. Don't send them tomorrow." that's it. So why not do that?? I don't know. Maybe there is a reason for the madness but knowing where I work as well as I do there probably isn't. I'm thinking that as soon as they are able to process a request someone will decide to pull the plug on them. So weeks of training and time away from my own work down the drain. Fun. Ugh. 

Fair warning, I don't have an idea for Whatever Wednesday tomorrow. I've been super busy at work and home for the last week so sex hasn't been on my mind. I'll try to change that tonight. ;-)