NaBloPoMo - Day #6

I am way, way behind on NaBloPoMo. Life and the election got in the way of me sitting down to write every day. I'm going to try to get back on track though so here we go:

Today's Prompt: What was it like to be you in 2016?

Wow, the NaBloPoMo folks really want you to be introspective, don't they? I could go sarcastic and say it was me-like and leave it but I think they were hoping for a little more. 

I guess I would sum 2016 me up as frustrated. When I look back over the past year I find that is the emotion I feel most frequently. Frustrated with work, frustrated with our relationship and sexually. I've been frustrated with the kids all three of them (and only 1 of them is mine!), frustrated with myself. I've had my car for over a year now and still love it. So that's something no car frustration.  

I know I shouldn't complain, so many people in the world have real problems that they can't control. Almost everything that upsets me is something I could change but choose not to. I'm frustrated with myself because I feel ugly and fat most of the time. Diet (low carb, high protein) and exercise can fix that but do I stick with it? Nope! I love food and everything else I love to do can be done when sitting or laying down. Plus, I'm honestly tired at the end of the day. After work all I really want to do is fix dinner and flop (ok some days I don't even want to fix dinner but since no one else would.... ) It's terrible, I know. I also know that I'm the only one that can fix it. I need to get back on the "treadmill before bed" plan. It helps me sleep and helps fight that fat battle. Even 1 mile a night makes a difference. I should start tonight and I think I will. I can fix my diet starting next week too. I'm supposed to go grocery shopping this weekend. Buying the right things and prepping will solve that problem.

The other stuff though, I don't have much control over. My relationship is frustrating but I can't imagine being without it. I honestly love them. Lack of sex is frustrating but it's no one's fault, opposite schedules take a toll. Unless one of us wins the lottery, it is what it is. When we have a block of time together the sex can be great, it's finding that time. As far as the kids go, all I can do is tolerate the girls. They aren't mine to raise. My son is 20, at this point all I can do is nudge, offer advice and listen. He's an adult and capable of making his own choices. I wish he'd go to school for some kind of trade but he's just not interested. He likes the job he has now and it's a great job for someone his age but long term? I just don't know. I'm just thankful that he's able to be this care free at his age. When I was 20 I had a 1 year old to worry about so finding that better job and then working my butt off for promotions and raises was way up on my list of priorities. His circumstances are completely different and I'm thankful for that.

All in all 2016 has been frustrating but not earth shatteringly terrible. I hope to have a happier 2017...