Writing Prompt Day #3: If you could do it over again...
Fun prompt...ok, no its not. In all honesty I have more regrets then I can count. The line in the Counting Crows song "Cowboys" that goes "This is a list of things that I should have been, but I'm not" is me in a nut shell pretty much. This isn't to say that I'm unhappy. Quite the opposite really. I have a great kid who has been blessed with excellent health, fabulous family, the people I love, their kids, a job that keeps my bills paid, a car that runs well and doesn't have a monthly payment, a great (and I mean really great) sex life and even an awesome cat. The list of good stuff in my life goes on and on and on. I am well aware of how very lucky I am but more importantly, I am thankful every day for all this good stuff.
But that doesn't mean I don't play the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" game. Thoughts like "I should have gone to a 4 year college" or "Maybe I should have gotten married and had couple more kids, the house, picket fence, etc" or "Why didn't I just move to Hawaii when it would have been easy?" or "Why did I get on the plane to leave Hawaii when I could have just gone back to the beach?"
Am I sad that I didn't do these things? No. But unless you are one of the lucky ones that never looks back, its hard not to rethink the choices you've made (especially when fighting a brisk bout of insomnia or trying to fill the cars gas tank in -4 degrees. ) It doesn't mean that you aren't happy with where you are, just that you wonder where you might have been...at least I do. It doesn't do me any good to let these thoughts get too carried away though. If I find myself in a "Why didn't I" loop I stop and remember the good stuff and try to imagine what my life would be like without the people in it now. What if I had never met them or missed others continually? It's not long before I go back to being happy and thankful and content. Because really, I am both happy and content.....
For now anyway... ;-P
Love,
Catie
But that doesn't mean I don't play the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" game. Thoughts like "I should have gone to a 4 year college" or "Maybe I should have gotten married and had couple more kids, the house, picket fence, etc" or "Why didn't I just move to Hawaii when it would have been easy?" or "Why did I get on the plane to leave Hawaii when I could have just gone back to the beach?"
Am I sad that I didn't do these things? No. But unless you are one of the lucky ones that never looks back, its hard not to rethink the choices you've made (especially when fighting a brisk bout of insomnia or trying to fill the cars gas tank in -4 degrees. ) It doesn't mean that you aren't happy with where you are, just that you wonder where you might have been...at least I do. It doesn't do me any good to let these thoughts get too carried away though. If I find myself in a "Why didn't I" loop I stop and remember the good stuff and try to imagine what my life would be like without the people in it now. What if I had never met them or missed others continually? It's not long before I go back to being happy and thankful and content. Because really, I am both happy and content.....
For now anyway... ;-P
Love,
Catie
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